bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize