Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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