9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize