Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

haha what'd she say

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF

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(215): dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up (412): haha what'd she say (215): i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF http://tfl.nu/bkrp

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(630): View more from Illinois

there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'

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(630): there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is' http://tfl.nu/8psl

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"

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(262): i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???" http://tfl.nu/nk2u

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(417): View more from Missouri

And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?

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(417): And my fence, why is part of it on the roof? http://tfl.nu/v3wp

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(616): View more from Michigan

our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.

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(616): our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time. http://tfl.nu/fvgl

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(716): View more from New York

she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.

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(716): she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives. http://tfl.nu/3y3d

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(301): View more from Maryland

The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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(301): The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football" http://tfl.nu/o0mi

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic

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(202): I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic http://tfl.nu/pd64

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(716): View more from New York

So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.

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(716): So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat. http://tfl.nu/aisk

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(248): View more from Michigan

Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.

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(248): Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/psr6

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(615): View more from Tennessee

other than the jail part I had a really good time with you

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(615): other than the jail part I had a really good time with you http://tfl.nu/dcut

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.

(404): View more from Georgia

Everyone is cheering

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(404): Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire. (404): Everyone is cheering http://tfl.nu/wh9k

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...

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(214): I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex... http://tfl.nu/zoqe

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(778): View more from British Columbia

the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic

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(778): the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic http://tfl.nu/wmnz

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(204): View more from Manitoba

That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina

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(204): That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina http://tfl.nu/e6cy

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