I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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