According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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