singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
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I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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