So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize