her vagine was all disorganized.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize