The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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