she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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