i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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