I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you made out with another girl for some wings
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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