masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize