My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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