YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
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I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
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WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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