For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize