Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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