having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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