your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
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It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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