I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
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Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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