you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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