Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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