yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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