I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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