A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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