Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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