i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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