That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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