Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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