I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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