butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
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we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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