We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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