I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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