Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
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Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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