I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize