i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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