put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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