someone threw a dead crab at me
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize