he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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