just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize