How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize