so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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