Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
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