Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize