he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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