Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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