Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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