I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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