the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize